Worrier gone bad

Things Mr. Worrier has been doing differently lately:

1. Asking me every morning before work and every night after work how I’m feeling. If I tell him I feel normal, he gets all quiet. If I tell him I was cramping or feeling bloated (yesterday), he gets all quiet but with an excited look in his eye.
2. Asking me where my fertility/infertility books are so he can read up on what may be happening at this point. He was reading this morning about implantation and suddenly called to me, “Do you realize that they do? They burrow into you!” (Pause) “We’re about 5 days after ovulation, right?”
3. Offering me pineapple in all sorts of different forms after I mentioned to him some people believe eating pineapple will help in implantation.
4. Poking my boobs. His logic is that if I shrink away in pain, then I could be pregnant. If I just give him a dirty look (my usual response so far), then I’m not. I guess it’s cheaper than a pee stick. Though I think this test runs an unusually high risk of false positive since my boobs normally get sore before my period anyway. Somehow explaining this to him has not stopped him from poking.